do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
