why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i wish my penis had a tongue
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Randomize
