dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
