Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
