If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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