The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
