Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
