had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
