Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
