I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
