Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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