the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
