All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
