i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
