I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
