My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
