a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
