Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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