I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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