dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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