sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
