two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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