It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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