A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
