You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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