Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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