why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
