your parents love me but you hate me
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
