Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
