What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
