So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
