Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
