i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
