I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
