I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
