If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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