HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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