i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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