a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
