My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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