What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
