Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
