Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
