Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
