I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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