i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
