threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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