yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
