Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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