...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
