i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
