well you can't waste a boner
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
