a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
