i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
